while cleaning around the house i came upon the old quote board from my first apartment at arrowhead circle. i moved in during the fall of 2002 with my “internet girlfriend” laura (roommates.com) who was chosen from said website by bone because “she’s pretty so she’ll know hot guys and she’s 21 so she can buy us liquor”

best decision that bone has ever made (besides iz of course)

 
to think a baby may not have been born had we not been superficial lushes!

we moved the following year to a house on bohicket court, and added some boy (man?) roomies to the mix. though much dirtier and spider filled than arrowhead, it offered room for beer pong, mardi gras parties and much debauchery!

and now (drum roll please)

 
The Best of Arrowhead Circle/Bohicket Court

 

molly: you can be my friend and my mom! (see, we were kind of wholesome)

b: i’m just going to serve chicken at my wedding! no one cares what they eat at weddings… they’re just going to throw it up in the bushes anyway

on performance art: i call this piece drinking apple juice with a q-tip in my nose

 
kma: okay, i definitely want to analyze semen!

hi, i’m calling about the toad?

if you catch the pencil jimmy fallon has to fuck you!

(made this statement one night during weekend update, after said night jimmy never threw the pencil again… coincidence? 

b: well laura, things always seem bigger when they’re in your mouth

 
sammy g: do you guys want to spank my butt or what?!

“don’t try to tell me how my man f*cks, bitch, i taught him!”

i feel like a fraggle!

inter-apartment phone calls

b: hey, do you want to come over tonight?

l: yeah, okay see you in a bit!

“your roommate is hot, but what’s wrong with that guy?”

l: i love you crusty toe!

“i feel like i had a baby and it died and now i have to pay $2,000 to get it back”

laura: these drugs aren’t working, i’m gonna have a beer

“if i was going to be gay i’d be gay with that sonofabitch Legolas! fuckin’ a, he’s a good lookin’ dude” russell (who else?!)

 

 aggie: can i be groping you now?

l: it’s a butt! it doesn’t go in your mouth!

 
j: for a herion junkie she’s kind of a fatty… are you sure she’s not a pothead?

 
b: i would rather let saddam hussein do me in the butt then unload 200 dishwashers. it’s just a matter of personal preference.

l: if i wanted to have sex with a skeleton i would have shown up for biology class more often.

amber: is it Cartier? 

grace: uh, no 

amber: okay, well then i don’t want to see it

b: if you could interview anyone dead or living who would it be? 

 k: dead.

“i almost had an ORC-gasm” jor on lord of the rings

 
“wait, wait- my boobs are definitely firmer then your ass!” b to l

j: why do you have so many condoms?
b: (sighs) because i don’t have any sex

“it just stopped working” overheard in the living room, 5:30 am

a: actually, i have an affection for beef!

 
b: oh, she’s bi

 d & j: like, AS IN SEXUAL?! (20 year old boys, obviously)

 b: no, as in polar, like CRAZY!

 

 a.s: wow b, your boobs are fun!

i’m so loose i feel like a baby without a diaper! -drunk david

 
b: don’t hand me my baby all gooey! it better be washed and in an outfit- a gap outfit!

 
l: i feel like i ate a heroin sandwich but all i really had was 2 muffins

 
b on karen walker: i want to be her when i grow up! i want to be drunk and funny and rich and drunk (2 for 3 btw)

swain (on why he placed a pot on passed out john’s ass): i was hoping to boil some water with his flatulence

 
l: you’re not wearing pants!

d: what else is new?

 

 
“will you write it on a PANCAKE?!” -adam only accepts one kind of secret note

 

 velociraptor my heart

what smells like old taco bell and socks? adam’s room!

 
d: wanna go make some hot babies?

l: no! (we all know who won that argument!)

b: the last time i checked diamonds were forever

 
swain: how is robert palmer dead and your fish is still alive?

(rip robert palmer and fendi mclaughlin)