too bad my best guy friend is a closet homosexual.

dealbreaker:

DEALMAKER: You Are My Best Friend

Oh. We like all the same things? That sucks. We hang out all the time and can make each other laugh at anything? Yeah, no thanks. You were the only person there for me when my brother was in a coma? Yeah, I know I was there when your sister went to rehab. Ok, whatever. You know basically everything about me? …And I know everything about you? And we still like each other? Yikes. Yeah, I think you’re pretty good-looking too. But, ew, right? I’m eventually going to constantly compare my husband to you? Oh…you, you’ll probably do the same with your wife? Gross, dude.

Wait, why is your hand on my boobs? How did my hand get on your ass? Well, okay. Since we’re already here. I guess…

-Written by Purplecheck

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