Jeans and a top? I’m not wearing jeans and a TOP, that’s what you wear when you’re trying to get laid. I’m wearing a sundress and cardigan because I’m trying to get MARRIED!

the notorious J.K.M. strikes again

Americans need to have a Detroit moment, where they realize they’re pulling their money and wasting it on the richest guy in the room. The richest 1% hoard an obscene amount of the wealth, while the average American has to save up to eat at Red Lobster on his birthday.

Wake up, America. Because somehow, they’re banging the porn stars and you’re getting the crabs.

Bill Maher (via kateoplis)

It’s never too ‘grungey’

I used to be a bartender, back when I was working my way through bartending.

Story of My Life via How Do You Know

Invite him out for a drink and then, after about twenty minutes, casually drop into the conversation the fact that you’d like to marry him and have lots of sex and babies.

Love Actually (which, I am watching because it is on and so I must watch it)