I need to learn how to marry a pro athlete.

KEW

Yay! Let’s make out. After you shave your face and burn that hat. Yay!

Happy Endings

I’ve been listening to Taylor Swift when I should have been listening to Liz Phair! Fifteen year old me is shaking her head in disgust.

Every atom in your body came from a star that exploded. And, the atoms in your left hand probably came from a different star than your right hand. It really is the most poetic thing I know about physics: You are all stardust. You couldn’t be here if stars hadn’t exploded, because the elements – the carbon, nitrogen, oxygen, iron, all the things that matter for evolution and for life – weren’t created at the beginning of time. They were created in the nuclear furnaces of stars, and the only way for them to get into your body is if those stars were kind enough to explode. So, forget Jesus. The stars died so that you could be here today.

Lawrence Krauss (via bringtheruckuss)

Why are you going to Arlington? It’s 30 degrees out, you’ll freeze to death! We have Kings of Leon on Palladia, wine, a fire and a dog wearing a sweater!! You should WANT to be here.

I’ve just had a horrifying realization, unless everything is folded, put away and you’re naked the laundry is never really “done”.

What kind of weird alternate universe do we live in where a blonde with cleavage can’t get a drink?!

I’m considering the fact that you want to watch “Never Been Kissed” a cry for help.