Ladies and gentlemen, there is something worse then pleated front khaki pants… CUFFED pleated front khaki pants.

All of my boyfriends are imaginary, it’s soooooo annoying.

B (via ambershelley)

It’s whiskey, it can’t go bad!

I found this antidote to bullshit and it’s called Bob Dylan

Amen

It’s Bill Murray and you’re old, that should be enough.

Convincing Uncle Mike to watch Rushmore

Fuck getting older, feeling like time is going faster and faster and it’s getting harder and harder to keep up. Fuck that the more things change, the more they stay the same. Fuck staring at a screen for 12 hours a day. Fuck the apathy, self-absorption and sense of entitlement it seems everyone’s chosen to cloak themselves with lately. Fuck toasting to douchebags, assholes and jerkoffs. Fuck despair, fuck the degeneration of the human spirit, fuck the pretty fucked American education system, fuck the completely fucked global ecological system, fuck the totally and utterly fucked idea of putting Snooki in a fucking hamster ball. OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK. Fuck fuckety fuck fuck fuck. Fuck a duck in a pick-up truck.

Dodal Stewart (via soupsoup)

If I can have S.P. you can have both W.C. and Ryan… C.C. isn’t up for discussion and we’ll never agree on the J.T./J.M. front.

Late night complimentary tequila shots induced husband negotiations

Stop buying yourself Louis lady and go get yourself a baby!

Life lessons for J and B